♫ Blog of MikeMoore The Producer ♫ : Us

Us

The love I have is so amazing I can hardly explain it.

I am going to marry this girl when I get older. If it was up to me now, or legal, I would have already proposed.

When I look at us now, I see something that couldn’t be broken even if we both tried our hardest.

The ONLY thing I Don’t like about Us is Me & My Mind.

I have such a colorful, uncontrollable imagination that can mislead me to think about some very negative things: like Me messing up, one of us cheating, someone else coming into the picture, not making her happy, me leaving because of an incredibly high standard that’s not being lived up to. The thoughts make me go so crazy I instantly feel anger towards both of us - Her just because, & Me for thinking of that stuff - but I can’t help it.

Song: Tank - Dead Man Walking

I would literally go through great lengths to fuck up ANYONE who comes in between Me & Her. Nobody is gonna take what’s mines & I’m not gonna let nobody do it, but the fucked up thing is that I sometimes think “What if he’s better for her than me?” or “What if it’s what she wants?”

Song: Tank - Diary Of A Mad Man

This is a song I would walk around the streets at night to picking up rocks & throwing them at windows, finding glass bottle in the street & slamming them on the ground, walking & drinking a bunch of alcohol at the same time stumbling around pissed at the world & talking shit. I feel like I’m at my Realest & seeing things in the most realistic, logical way possible, & I feel pissed at myself for letting such thoughts make me go insane.

She makes me feel so fucking defensive of Us its ridiculous. But one thing I realize is that no matter what, no matter what negative fantasies or thoughts run in my mind, I can never leave her.

Song: The-Dream - Too Good To Leave Song: Jeremih - Break Up To Make Up

I start to feel better. My brain starts to recover from the bruises I put on it. I have a reality check. She’s said it herself “You’re stuck with me, so get used to it.” First my Responding Thought is “YAAAYYY!!!!” because if it’s One thing I want more than Anything, it’s to be claimed or owned by a beautiful girl that I love the most, to have someone as Beautiful & Sexy as her basically saying “You Are MINES & Noody can have you!” making me feel like she has me tied up & I’m defenseless, basically Controlling me & making Me feel like I’m trapped in something beautiful, THAT’S what I always wanted.

Before, I used to have Another Responding Thought that came second that’s like “Well I can have anybody I want” or “How am I stuck? I can leave just as freely as You can.” That was BEFORE. NOW I no longer have that responding thought because through our whole time together, I realized that she was right. We both messed up, we broke Us off a number of times, we both were pretty angry & negative towards each other, even though we both Barely argued, which was always strange to me. But we Always fized Us. We Always got over & through. The love we have IS too good to leave.

With our last experience, I was taking a risk when I wanted to break it off. God knows I didn’t want to, but I knew it had to be the right thing. Whether we got back togetherr or not wasn’t even in the question for me. I felt stupid for wanting it, but I felt that maybe it just wasn’t the right thing, & if we ever got back, we just Better be how I want us to be because That is the reason why I wanted to break it off, or if we didn’t, then owell, something new would come, it was Always the case.

But when we got back, it was a complete surprised to me, because All hope was lost. Only This time I didn’t wanna just jump back to being Us, even though I wanted to. I waited - something I Never like to do. As time went on after we got back, I started to see the improvement. I started to see that Finally I have what I want, Finally we both are ready, Finally there’s no bullshit, so I felt like it was the right move afterall to break it off.

Now the only thing that kills me is just my over-thinking, but with the past I have, the past we have, anyone would understand why I have the thoughts that I have. But I slap myself with a reality check that says “-___- Cmon Nigga” because I know that nobody is going anywhere. I love Us & my only mission is to keep us perfect & to make us better. One thing I realized is that A RELATIONSHIP IS NOTHING BUT COMMON SENSE. We both know what’s right & wrong, we both know that all we have to do is to just be Real with each other. & That’s why so many other couples are so fucked up, because they don’t understand that. A relationship is so easy - love each other, don’t lie, don’t cheat, communicate, keep all bullshit out of what you 2 have - pretty simple. Any negative thoughts, just Stop, Think, & Let Them Go - its easier than what people make them.

This is the realization I had to come to & I’m mad it took me forever, but now I can finally admit that I Love Us & I would trade Us for the world & I will do ANYTHING for Us.